Perspectives Matters in our Communication

You and your partner’s perception of each other matter when you communicate with each other no matter if they are from a distance or not. Have you felt a bit of frustration when you communicate with your partner? This may be a perspective issue!

Perspective-taking is defined as the cognitive ability to understand others’ thoughts and feelings. It includes examining multiple viewpoints and mentally putting oneself in another’s shoes. Which is like empathy. Your fellow communication scientists analyzed different writing between couples and found several themes that created a more positive perspective between partners. Partners who use these perspective talking components seem to be better-suited with conflict management in their relationships. These themes are agreement, attentiveness, relevant contributions, coordination, positive tone, and freedom in storytelling. These categories of behaviours were coded and identified from spouses’ written descriptions of positive perspective-taking behaviours. Not to mention, by allowing each other the freedom to share their views without being interrupted was a top pick from the analysis! Even better if it is with a positive tone when you're having a video call!

But let's get real for a second, when we listen to our partners, we should encourage each other to tell more about what he/she thinks through positive reinforcement and talk time. Letting your partner tell his or her story, with a positive tone would encourage your partner to disclosure more and will in, where it will kickstart positive perspective-taking process. Remember to have some of these elements in your communication with your partner: agreements, attentiveness, relevant contributions, coordination, positive tone, and freedom in storytelling. Finally, the biggest absolute biggest part is to validate your partner!

Extra Resources That You Might Find interesting!

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Reference

Koenig Kellas, J., Willer, E. K., & Trees, A. R. (2013). Communicated perspective-taking

during stories of marital stress: Spouses' perceptions of one another's perspective-taking behaviors. Southern Communication Journal, 78(4), 326-351. doi:10.1080/1041794X.2013.815264