Bigger Notions to Consider – Time & Space Management

We all lead very busy lives regardless which social ladder we decided to climb. Even more it’s the reason long-distance relationships are becoming more prevalent. Whether its for a more successful and higher paying job in Singapore, a duty call to serve in the Navy, or a once in a lifetime opportunity to do a fellowship with the highest-ranked neurosurgeon in the country – we all have to make sacrifices and compromises. Yet we often feel that distance can separate two loving hearts. That my friends, is a faulty mindset. It is basic knowledge that commitment in a relationship is one of the most important aspects, because on that foundation our relationships grow. However, there are two more very important ‘elephants’ that the relationship platform is being held upon and they are time & space management.

Organizing and making time for one another can be hard in long-distance relationships so setting schedules, being consistent but also invoking a deeper understanding are quite important. Just because we have instant access to our partner it doesn’t mean that it’s a good thing. In fact, some couples even rate the instant access they have to one another as a harmful feature of our modern technology. We encourage couples to set boundaries and try being accommodating to each individuals’ schedule when trying to virtually meet up. Having a set up schedule will allow for both of you to attain your goals and not interfere with work or schooling, and it will be a nice notion to look forward to for each of you at the end of your days. This doesn’t mean that you can only interact with your partner at those specific times – nobody is stopping you from sending them a <3 and kiss emoji or a short sweet voice/video message where you tell them how much you miss and love them. In fact, we want you to remind your partner of how much they mean to you and tell them about your day as we discussed in impression management strategies. However, with set boundaries and meeting schedules the pressure of having to instantly reply when one is unavailable is alleviated, resolving more problems and associated guilt. Furthermore, it is vital to create time for each other – and you can read more about on our website.

In regard to setting an organized space – we suggest determining early the communication platforms that you wish to use for the sake of consistency. Whether it be Facebook, Skype, Viber, Zoom or Discord, we want you to be consistent where you chat. Reasons behind this, just like with immediately unanswered texts, is to alleviate the social pressures that the variety can bring. Meaning, if you constantly use Facebook to video call and then decide to send them a message on Instagram and get upset that they “left you on read” with no response – it’s a fault of your own. A lot of the times we forget that our partners might not be looking at their phones and computers constantly and thus can easily miss these notifications, causing us to worry and judge them for not replying to us. In addition, we recommend – given the opportunities of course – to use video and audio calls more when you chat rather than simple text-messaging. When we are able to see and hear our partners, we feel more of a connection and thus increase our sense of intimacy and togetherness within our relationship.

We also want to remind you about the importance of date nights – in itself an aspect of ‘space management’. How so? Even when you are in a long-distance relationship you can still improvise and create these memories with your partner. You can always have a movie night through watching a movie together on Netflix Party to experience synched entertainment, or even cook together your favourite foods or do Uber Eats Takeout from your favourite restaurant all while on a video call, adding candlelight to the table and some delicious beverage – all while sharing this time with your partner. Taking into consideration that some couples will have completely different schedules depending where they are in the world, they can always improvise on the details, but most importantly – remember that it’s the quality of these communications that matters!