Impression Management

All that impression management really relates to is how we let others see us when we interact with them. Most of the time when we are with our partners, we wish for them to see a better version of us than we might really be, and that is completely natural. Whether we wish to sound defenceless so they would become the big and strong defenders for our sake, or we are trying to butter them up with compliments so that they would like us in return – it is all part of impression management. The ones we recommend practising more often are ingratiation and self-promotion. Ingratiation – as the word suggests, describes the situation where you strive to do favours for your partner, talk about them in a positive light, share compliments, all the while having a sincere reason for it and not be manipulative. In self-promotion, one strives to showcase their best qualities and talents which help gain recognition and respect, as well as recall accomplishments. How would this work you ask? Well for starters, ingratiation would increase your and your partners opinions of each other, and when done with a ‘pure heart’ it helps us gain positive illusions of our partners and thus makes them more likeable for us, and vice versa. Even doing small favours for one another helps create a more communal feel within the partnership, especially if those favours are done without waiting patiently for something in return. With self-promotion it is healthy to recall your accomplishments and share that joy with your partners – whether it was sharing how great you did in a hard exam or the fact that you finally cleared out your closet, mentioning your success builds your own self-esteem and makes your partner value you more. In fact, integrating both where you promote your partner and share in their glory and success will help you both grow much closer despite the distance. So the next time you’re on a video call with your loved one and feel stuck in a conversation, try these two tricks and let them share as well. This brings us to another big part of conversations – active listening!